How to Have Better Sex

Every sex blog has to have this post. It's what you're looking for when you search up sex blogs. It's what we're trying to figure out every time we get in bed with someone. How do we have better sex? Well, I'm not going to give you the same step-by-step guide that you'll find elsewhere. Mine is just a simple 3 step system:

Step 1: Know Your Body
Before you can expect someone to come in and know exactly which buttons to press, you have to be able to identify them yourself. This is a fun step, it's the step where you take out a couple hours of your day to just find out what feels good. Do you like your nipples being played with, or do they just hurt? Could some light scratching make it feel good? What if you massaged here or there, or everywhere?

When you figure out something you like, make note of it. Either tell your partner, or lightly guide them there when you're having sex. If something feels wrong, or bad, also make note of it. It's a good idea to know what really turns you off, and let your partner know before they start doing it. If you hate having your nipples played with, and they start to reach for them, just tell them where you rather be touched. Bam! You won't be turned off in the middle of foreplay.

This can also be a not so fun step. A big part of knowing your body however, is also to know your mind. If sex is something you dread, there's a chance that no matter where you touch or squeeze it won't change how you feel about sex. You have to be mentally aroused before you can get physically aroused. If there's trauma that's holding you back, there's no shame in talking to someone professional about it. I will put links up to a couple places you can start in my references page.

Step 2: Have a Respectful Partner
Whether you're having vanilla sex or kinky play, your partner has to respect you. That includes, but is not limited to, respecting your limits and boundaries, giving you as much foreplay as you need, accepting a no if you change your mind, and learning what turns you on.

If you have a shitty partner, you'll have shitty sex. If your partner is trying to push your limits, it's not going to be enjoyable. How are you supposed to enjoy sex, if you're worried that they're going to do something you don't want them to? If the only pleasure they're after is themselves, that is someone you need to remove from your life, not just your bed. That's just gross.

Step 3: Have More Sex
The old adage is true: practice makes perfect. Whether with one partner, or with many, you're just going to get better with time. If you have one partner, you will know their body and they'll know yours, and there are a million ways to experiment to find out things you never knew would feel good. If you have multiple partners, you can learn to adapt to different bodies, or how to take control to get the sex you want.

Try different kinds of sex; find your kinks and fetishes. Find partners who share those kinks. Sometimes you'll have partners for different kinds of sex and that's okay, as long as they know that. Try using the variety of safer sex supplies. For penetrative sex there's so many different kinds of condoms that can feel good for both parties. There's all kinds of lubes and toys, to try. Just go wild if you need to.

In general, you'll probably figure out how to move your body and what positions work best for you. As long as you have the other two steps covered, this will be the most fun step (although step 1 can be just as fun). Just have fun with it and every time you have sex will feel like the best you've ever had.